GED Reasoning Through Language ArtsExtended Response (Essay)Hard
A student is reviewing their argumentative essay draft and identifies a sentence: 'The data shows that higher education has a big effect on people's chances of getting good jobs and making more money in their lives.' Which revision most effectively improves the clarity and precision of this sentence for an academic essay?
- AStudies prove that a college degree can lead to better jobs and higher pay.
- BStatistics clearly indicate that advanced schooling positively impacts employment opportunities and lifetime earnings.
- CHigher education really helps people with their careers and income.
- DThe numbers demonstrate that higher education influences job prospects and financial success.
Show answer & explanationAnswer & explanation
Correct answer: B. Statistics clearly indicate that advanced schooling positively impacts employment opportunities and lifetime earnings.
Clarity and precision in academic writing require using specific vocabulary, avoiding colloquialisms, and employing formal language. Option B replaces vague terms with more precise and academic equivalents, enhancing the overall quality of the sentence.
Why the other options are wrong
- A. While better, 'college degree' is less inclusive than 'advanced schooling' or 'higher education,' and 'better jobs' and 'higher pay' are less precise than 'employment opportunities' and 'lifetime earnings.'
- C. Uses informal language ('really helps,' 'people with their careers') and lacks precision.
- D. Uses 'numbers' instead of a more formal term like 'statistics' or 'research findings,' and 'financial success' is slightly less precise than 'lifetime earnings' in an academic context.
Clarity and Precision in Language
Clarity and precision in language refer to using specific, unambiguous words and sentence structures to convey meaning directly and accurately, avoiding vagueness, jargon, or colloquialisms.
- Uses specific nouns and verbs.
- Avoids clichés and idioms.
- Ensures exact meaning is conveyed.
- Contributes to a formal, academic tone.
Memory trick: Clear words cut through the fog of vague ideas.