ATI TEAS (Test of Essential Academic Skills) Version 7English and Language UsageMedium
A medical professional is writing a patient's discharge summary. The summary reads: 'The patient presented with a severe headache, which was accompanied by nausea and light sensitivity. The patient was given pain medication, and after a period of observation, the patient's symptoms improved, and the patient was discharged.' Which of the following edits would best improve the conciseness of the summary?
- ARemoving 'which was accompanied by nausea and light sensitivity'.
- BChanging 'a period of observation' to 'observation'.
- CChanging 'severe headache' to 'headache'.
- DReplacing repeated instances of 'the patient' with pronouns or restructuring sentences.
Show answer & explanationAnswer & explanation
Correct answer: D. Replacing repeated instances of 'the patient' with pronouns or restructuring sentences.
The phrase 'the patient' is repeated four times within a relatively short summary. Replacing these repetitions with pronouns (e.g., 'he' or 'she') or restructuring the sentences would significantly reduce wordiness and improve conciseness without losing essential information.
Why the other options are wrong
- A. Removing 'which was accompanied by nausea and light sensitivity' removes crucial diagnostic information about the headache's characteristics.
- B. Changing 'a period of observation' to 'observation' makes a minor improvement but doesn't address the major redundancy of 'the patient'.
- C. Changing 'severe headache' to 'headache' loses important detail about the severity of the symptom.
Conciseness in Writing
The quality of being brief and to the point; expressing much in few words.
- Eliminates unnecessary words and phrases.
- Improves clarity and readability.
- Avoids redundancy and repetition.
- Crucial in professional and academic writing for efficiency.
Memory trick: Cut the Fluff, Get to the Point